Wednesday evening, I posted about calling my Mom.
It was for no other reason than to just call her and say “Hi mama…I love you.”
The response was something far different than what I had expected. So many people, I am sure with tears in their eyes, spoke of sweet Mothers who had passed from the worries and troubles of this life and entered into Heaven. Some spoke of Mothers who were in the midst of fighting cancer and hanging on, fighting for every breath of life left within them.
As I read the posts left I began to have a far deeper understanding of just how much I have taken my poor mama. All the hard work. Getting my ready for school. Helping me with homework and projects. Cub Scouts. Boy Scouts. Church. Grandma’s house just about every weekend and summer all the way back in Angelina County. I can remember driving in an old Oldsmobile 98. The thing was solid steel and big as a house. No A/C that I recall. The windows were always rolled down. Not a care in the world I had. The A/M, push button radio playing the Oak Ridge Boys, Dolly and Kenny maybe even a lil Elvis now and again.
I remember in my career, well, ok, I may not remember everything, but I remember being hurt, sick, shot. One ambulance ride or helicopter ride after the other. My mom would come in, no tears. But the worry in her eyes and on her face hurt me more than any wounds I had suffered. She would always come beside me and say “Sonny boy, I love you…”
I remember holding my hand up to hold hers and all I could really see was the IV cord in my vein. The medical tape. I could hear the sounds of all the machines in the room. I told her I was ok. I told her I loved her. At the time, I really didn’t know if I was ok or not. But I sure didn’t want to be in any more trouble with my mama than I already was. Winding up in the hospital was NOT part of the deal we had! Certainly getting myself shot was not, either.
It was a simple post I had started with no other intent than to mention I had thought of and called my mom. Well, Friend, if you still have your mama here, pick up the phone and call her. No text. No email. No fax. Let her hear your voice. And, as we all do, learn to hear hers…actually listen to every word. Every symbol . Take it all in. For, we are the lucky ones. Our Moms are still here today to call. Far too often have we taken for granted something so special?
To all of those whom have lost their Mother. I sincerely and humbly say to each and every one of you…”I am very sorry for your loss…” I could not imagine how difficult those moments, that time must have been for you.
There are no words, no actions I could take to ease the bereavement your heart must feel at the longing to hear her sweet voice one more time. I pray for God’s love to embrace and comfort you daily and provide some form of peace to your heart after such a loss.
In closing, remember, life itself, every single moment of it, is a gift.
The laughter, the tears, the moments of crazy and the moments of peace. They are all intertwined and full of memories to be had and shared. Remember to love hard and love often. Never just halfway give your heart to another….and Mom, thank you for everything, every moment. I am sorry I never seemed to quite make all the right decisions like you taught me, but know I sure did try. I love you very much.
(This was written in January)