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Why Cops Sometimes Seem Insensitive

REX_BYLINE

I was talking to one of the “Rookies” I had as a Field Training Officer “back in the day”…mostly laughs and talking about people we know and shared experiences….then there a pause….it was like I could feel and see him through the phone…I could see and feel the tears….

I asked him “Hey…what’s going on? What’s happened? He said, do you remember my first DOA call? I told him he would have to be a little more specific…I had a few of those over the last quarter century and I had quite a few Rookies to boot.

He went on to describe the scene to me. Mid-August, well over 100 degrees and 100% percent humidity. We arrived, exited the old Tahoe we were assigned and the smell was immediately upon us…out in the roadway. We had not even made it to the trailer yet…..I was like…oooohh yeah, laughing, I remember now. So?? What of it? That has been years ago….

He went on to describe the increasing odor, the flies on the windows and he said, I looked back for you and were weren’t behind me…you were right beside me. He said, man I was so f#$%^ scared and nervous and sick to my stomach. You looked over at me, smiled, winked at me and I was like “ok, I know I can do this.”

This old rookie of mine then said how I made him open the door and how the odor hit us both like a wall. He, of course, lost his lunch. A couple of times over, if I am to recall correctly. (Little did and does he know, it took all I had not too as well)

But the point was this…he said I looked at him, smiled and hit him on the back and I said “Son, I told you, never eat Italian before you come to work. Anything else is fine…just not Italian.” He told me he had never forgot that reassuring moment of dry humor at a pivotal point in any Officers career…their first DOA, let alone it being such a messy one.

I kinda laughed and said well, ok….fun times…but why are you upset Bro???? What’s the deal? He said he had made a DOA call earlier this week and it was almost the exact same circumstances…excluding Italian, of course. He went on to say, he finally realized something I had tried to teach him….sometimes, even in the face of danger, death and destruction…your best defense isn’t any weapon on your belt…its keeping your sanity and a sense of humor about yourself.

Sometimes, in this line of work, we see, hear, smell and feel the absolute darkest moments of humanity. And, when we do, at that time, there is a job to be done and we do it. Yet, in order to process all this trauma, there is a well-known healer among First Responders…..laughter. It can, at times, seem cynical…yet, I can assure you all, it is quite the opposite. It is in fact, us being human. We feel just as everyone else. In the midst of death and tragedy, when the moment is nearly overwhelming, a smile, a nervous laugh, a simple piece of advice, like…”Don’t ever eat Italian before coming to work” can go a long, long way in keeping your sanity and your heart intact.

I just wanted to say, many folks give cops a bad rap…and sadly, there are some who deserve and even earn the criticism given. However, as a whole I would respectfully submit…most of us….we are, in fact, good people doing the best we can under some pretty excruciating circumstances.

For the good ones out there, we all have our “Coping Mechanisms” under dire stress/circumstances. To some it might seem a bit cruel. It’s not, really. Sometimes, the only mechanism we have is to simply smile and endure. Lesson learned on both sides. From the Teacher to the Student and years later, from the Student to the Teacher…..A very fair trade. I’ll take it……

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